Playing By The Rules
by FayTheGay
Summary: What happens when a stupid teen uses a bodyswap spell to become a witch? Things. Bad things.


**This takes place during season 5 episode 12 and contains a slightly altered timeline of events. Basically my telling of what I'm sure would have happened had Lucifer actually been summoned.**

.-~*~-.

"Boy, you earned your dessert tonight, kiddo. Tell me, what is it you want? Anything." Dean groaned where he was against the wall. His head was pounding but he was still conscious. For now. Stupid stupid kid.

"Anything?" The kid wearing his brother's body asked. Naïve idiot.

"Lay it on me." The demon responded, grinning.

"I want to be a witch. For real. And really powerful." _Stupid kid_. He tried to move but a quick flick of the demon's wrist pinned him in place.

"Mm. Good choice. I get it. No daddy, no M.I.T. No plan. You get to be big and strong, and no one can tell you what to do anymore. There's just one small formality first. You got to meet the boss."

_Lucifer. The demon was going to summon Lucifer- crap._

"The boss?"

"You know- your Satanic majesty, or whatever the kids are calling it these days."

"The devil?"

"Mm-hmm." The demon was crossing the room now, cutting her own hand to begin painting sigils into the end table.

"Uh... no. O…okay. Um, it's okay. I... don't really want to bother him."

"Oh, but he's gonna want to meet you. Relax. It'll be easy. He's just gonna ask you one little question, and all you got to do is say 'yes'. And then, you get your reward."

Would that _work_? Could the stupid kid's yes count for Sam's? Because of some stupid body swap spell? He didn't want to think it could. Not with every other worry that they had to deal with.

"Really… I couldn't."

"Oh, but you will. And he'll give you everything you could ever hope to want."

Dean really wanted his voice. To shout at the stupid kid to _run_. Give his damned brother his body back before it screwed them all. But he couldn't say a word and when the kid ultimately _did_ try to run.

It didn't go well.

The demon whipped around, throwing her hand out to send the kid flying backwards, back hitting the wall with a much softer thud than what he'd been the victim of. Her Latin flowed effortlessly. Never letting up as she glared between the both of them.

The room went silent at the end of the chant. The air around them turning so cold he could see his breath.

Well. At least Sam was safe wherever the hell the kid had left him.

Then Lucifer was there. A big dramatic entrance, shadows casting across the walls from some unknown source. The sound of a single flap of wings rather than the flapping of several wings. Unified. Dignified. Lucifer didn't even acknowledge him at first, his focus on the demon in front of him.

"You say you have Sam?" There was an underlying amusement to his tone. Like he was in on some joke they didn't know.

"I have his body." The demon nodded towards where the kid was pinned to the wall.

"That is not the question I asked." There was an undertone to Lucifer's voice that -if he wasn't already terrified. Not to say that he was.- left him grateful he wasn't on the other end of it. And he _hated_ being grateful for anything even remotely related to Lucifer.

"You don't need Sam Winchester's soul. You only need-" The demon was fumbling over her words. The confidence gone now. "The meatsuit."

"Where is your brother, Dean?" He kept his mouth shut, glaring defiantly at Lucifer when cool blue eyes turned on him. Staring down and through him like he was less than a maggot- yet more than an ant. Disorienting and confusing in a way he didn't quite comprehend. Like back in Carthage when the Devil had looked at him with an almost betrayal.

Like he wasn't looking at Dean but just the housing unit for his brother.

"How about you instead, body thief?" Lucifer turned his focus on the kid, raising his hand.

He didn't have to do anything at all before the kid started on a blundering and panicked confession. "Pleasedon't. He'sinmybasement."

Lucifer's eyes flashed a bright red. For just a moment. Then Sam was on his knees in the room, in some kid's body that he was about ready to murder on principle. Once they fixed the mess.

"Now, isn't this a turn of events. Sam?"

"Lucifer." Sam said with defiance, getting to his feet and backing up to Dean's side. Not another word.

"We really need to stop meeting like this." Lucifer hummed, turning his attention back to the demon. "Did you think that this is how I want to obtain him? Really? You think I want to _cheat_ like I'm just some _demon_?" Lucifer said the word demon like some people said cockroach or maggot. "Do you think that lowly of me?"

"I didn't-"

"_Enough_." Lucifer flicked his wrist and the demon screamed, the girl collapsing into a heap on the floor.

"She said-"

"_Shut up_, Gary." Sam hissed, interrupting the kid before he could say anything else to screw them anymore. Now that Dean could move, he got to his feet. Grabbed the demon killing blade tucked into his jacket pocket wishing like hell that he had The Colt. Even if it wouldn't kill him, it had actually _hurt_ him.

"I suppose the answer remains the same, Sam? Before we put this entire mess behind us."

"I will _never_ say yes." So much confidence that Dean wanted to believe him. Faith in his little brother. But the confident aura. Annoyance- not disappointment on the devil's face…

It worried him.

"You will say yes. We know how this conversation will go for now. I want your consent. Not some sniveling child's." Lucifer snapped his fingers then. And just like that two bright orbs floated out of each of the other twos' mouths, gasps ripping from both their throats as what Dean could only assume to be their souls escaped.

Dean watched in almost awe as Lucifer gestured towards each body. Sending the one that left Sam's body back to the kid -what had Sam said? Gary? Whatever- and what had to be Sam's soul back to his body. Lucifer had just _helped_ them.

Lucifer just _helped_ them.

He didn't want to imagine the cost that would be.

Instead of any major, final speech. Lucifer looked at Sam. Expression considerate. "I'll see you again, Sam."

Then it was the four of them. Two stupid kids, and two brothers.

Dean had half a mind to stab the wanna-be-witch. No matter how old he was.

When they'd finally settled into the Impala later, they both fell into silence. Heavy and uncomfortable.

"We could've done it without him. That was… it was messed up. But it doesn't change things." Sam spoke as they drove towards the edge of town. "He's still the Devil. Still has to go down."

"He had a chance to jump your bones. End the whole thing. And he didn't take it. Either he's stupid, or he's very confident."

"I won't say yes." It was a broken record at this point. They could say it however many times they wanted. It didn't change anything, though. Lucifer was certain. Zachariah was certain.

"Neither will I."

It was all he could hope that it was true.

*~-.-~*


End file.
